I love summer.
Used to be, one of the best things about living in Indiana was seeing the seasons change.
All the colors of fall.
Having snow on Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years in the winter.
The flowers and trees blooming in the spring.
Pardon me while I adjust my vagina.
The older I get, the more I like summer. And the less I give a shit about changing seasons.
In fact, after Christmas, winter can go F#@K itself.
Since I hit 30, I found myself thinking more and more fondly about the possible climate change effects of global warming.
Who cares that it’s a myth!
Who care that the Earth has been going through periods of Hot and Cold for millions of years throughout history.
If there was just the tiniest chance that Al “Iinventedtheinternet” Gore was right, then I supported it whole-heartedly.
I would be willing to cut off ALL the catalytic converters of all the cars in town, mow my yard in the middle of the day, waste water, and burn roofing shingles 24-7, if it meant Indiana would soon become the new Florida.
It would be GREAT!
Only better, actually, since we have no hurricanes, poisonous snakes or spiders, gators, sink holes, or Cubans.
And we keep our retired folk in homes, where they belong.
Not running around clogging up the malls and theme parks.
Yep, I was becoming more and more in favor of adding a few degrees to the thermometer.
Until this summer.
The HEAT has been HELL-like.
I’m not talking the normal humidity/heat that we are used to, that other people bitch about when they visit Indiana.
I’m talking the several weeks of 100+ degrees minus the humidity heat.
I’m talking the “kill all your grass and plants and animals” heat.
I’m talking the “don’t walk outside unless you want an instant flash burn that melts your face off and makes it impossible to breathe” type heat.
We have had WAY below average rainfall this summer, which may have helped with the humidity, but not the heat.
I’m starting to look forward to fall.