Monday, April 9, 2012

Cup The Balls, Don't Squeeze!

Angry ex-girlfriend goes ballistic, rips off man’s scrotum

Talk about a ball buster.

   An Indiana man was rushed to the hospital Wednesday after his scrotum was the victim of a vicious attack by an ex-girlfriend, The Smoking Gun reports.
   The victim told police that his former girlfriend, Christina Reber, stormed into his apartment as he was innocently sitting at his computer. Reber, who he had severed ties with a few days earlier, first struck him on the head and then grabbed his scrotum and began “squeezing as hard as she could.” Naturally, he told officers that he “was in incredible pain when [she] grabbed his scrotum and began digging in her fingers.”
   The police report indicates that the scrotum area was “completely torn loose from his body.” Reber reportedly “refused to let go of his scrotum,” but that the victim was finally able to remove his balls from her vice-like grip.
   As if the story isn’t already good enough, the victim, who has not been identified, was taken to BALL MEMORIAL HOSPITAL. As far as we know, the hospital is not only for scrotum-specific injuries.
   In an interview two days after the incident, the man told police that after his ex was done breaking his balls, his family jewels are so swollen that he is unable to work, and he isn’t sure if there will be permanent damage.
   Reber was charged with two felonies: aggravated battery and illegally entering the victim’s home. She was also charged with a misdemeanor domestic battery.

Only in Indiana.

7 comments:

Travis Sloat said...

At the risk of being a grammar Nazi, I think the term should be "vise-like." I only make that correction because one of them causes excruciating pain in your testes, the other causes the same pain for your wallet.

Coffeypot said...

I wonder if she was mad or just overly fixated on his nuts. Seriously,I had a similar but much less dramatic thing happen in a parking lot fight with a dude back in the day. You have no idea how much pain and debilitating that can be.

Pearl said...

I think there's more to this story, don't you? What was she so mad about?!!!

Where's Paul Harvey when we need him?!

Pearl

Kathryn Loving said...

Hmm...I just can't relate. I also can't imagine what he did. We all know women are not crazy and just don't go out and do things like that unless someone deserved it. An eye for an eye...a ball for a ball...or something.

And...must have happened in Muncie? Such a violent town. :)

Sarah Pearson said...

Wow. I'm not sure there's much a guy can do (beyond abuse, and there's no mention of that here), that would deserve that!

Joshua said...

Umm...ouch.

hotpants™ said...

I'm all for revenge, but I could never do something like that. That hurts me and I don't have balls. OUCH!

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