Thursday, September 29, 2011

Wacky News Wednesday...On Thursday.

That's right, it's a day late. So sue me.
I've had the stomach flu the last couple days.
Onward...
Cops: Burglar frying bacon caught when owner returns
(MSNBC.COM) A woman who returned to her home found a man inside who was frying bacon on her stove and in possession of several personal items, according to police in suburban St. Louis.
Damon Petty, 36, was charged with burglary after his arrest Tuesday at the home of Kenya Ealy in University City.
Ealy and a female friend had returned to the home and at first were unable to enter when Petty tried to keep the door closed. The two eventually got in and detained him until police arrived.
Ealy said, “He was cooking. Making himself some breakfast.”

Mmmmmm....BACON!!!....nom nom nom nom

Ice Cream Cone Mascot Mistaken for a KKK Member
An ice cream shop in Ocala, Florida thought it would be a clever marketing tactic to have an employee dress up as an ice cream cone and stand out in the parking lot with a sign advertising their goods. Little did they know!
Managers and staffers at the two-month-old Ice Cream Family Corner and Sandwiches say that many townsfolk have avoided their shop because of the ice cream cone man, whom they've mistaken for a Ku Klux Klan
Diaz is from Puerto Rico and had never heard about the KKK until a reporter informed her about the group. The shop owners are named Jose Cantres and Jesus Diaz, which seems to disqualify them from KKK membership. Photographs show that the men who wore the foam ice cream cone costume—which features a hole cut out for the wearer's face to show through—had brown skin. Also, KKK robes don't usually come with sprinkles.

The last line is the BEST!

p.s. You should really google this one and read some of the quotes from the local citizens. Silly Floridians.

"Toe Suck Fairy" arrested on new charges
LITTLE ROCK, Ark (Reuters) - A man known in Arkansas as the "Toe Suck Fairy" for a series of 1990s assaults directed at women's feet was arrested after he struck again more than a decade later, police said.
Michael Robert Wyatt, 50, was arrested on Monday after two women identified him from a photo line-up as "the man who approached them in local stores commenting on their feet and asking to suck their toes," said LaTresha Woodruff, spokeswoman for the Conway Police Department.
One of the women described the man as having "really messed up toes."
Earlier in the month an 83-year-old woman told police she was sitting in a chair in front of her apartment when a man approached her. He took off one of her shoes and began sucking her toes, police said.
In the 1990s, Wyatt was convicted and even served time in prison for his obsession.
He had pretended to be a podiatrist in order to fondle and suck a Conway, Arkansas, woman's toes at a clothing store.
And, he was convicted in 1991 of making threats for telling a convenience store clerk that he wanted to cut off her feet and suck her toes while she bled to death. For that, he was sentence to four years in state prison, but served just over a year.
In 1999, Wyatt was arrested again, police said, after asking a woman in a northwest Arkansas Walmart if she wanted him to amputate her feet and showing her pictures of women with no feet.
Wyatt was picked up at his home in Vilonia, about 15 miles from Conway, where three incidents have been reported in the past few weeks. Conway is about 30 miles north of Little Rock.

I bet he could really use a Tic-Tac.

Teacher's Aide Accused Of Taping Child's Mouth Shut

A paraprofessional at Whitehead Road Elementary School in Athens, Ga. was put on leave after putting clear packaging tape over a girl's mouth to prevent her from talking, WXIA-TV reported.
According to reports, the aide put the tape on the student's mouth near the end of the Wednesday school day at around 2:25 p.m. because the child would not quiet down.
Although the little girl pulled the tape off within seconds, the classroom teacher reported the incident to school administrators.
School officials informed the child's parents of what had happened and the disciplinary actions they took.

Come on, who HASN'T wanted to do this?

Police: Iowa Woman Attacks Boyfriend After He Turns Her Down for Sex

Police say the Iowa City woman damaged her home and punched her boyfriend after he turned her down for sex.
Police say an Iowa City woman didn't react well to being told "no" Monday evening.
According to criminal complaints, Melissa Barbara Minarsich, 28, was accused of second-offense domestic abuse assault, an aggravated misdemeanor, for punching her boyfriend with whom she has an 8-month-old child. Minarsich was convicted of domestic abuse in 2009 as well
Police say they arrived at 10:24 p.m. at 131 Taft Speedway for a report of a woman who was out of control. Officers say they met the caller, Minarsich's boyfriend, at the scene, and he told them that she had damaged the outside of the house and hit him several times after he refused to have sex with her. He told police that despite being hit he was not injured.
Officers say then they spoke to Minarsich, who was still at the scene, and that she appeared intoxicated, strongly smelling of alcohol and having slurred speech. Police say Minarsich conceded that she had been in a fight with her boyfriend due to his refusal of sex.
"All I want is a piece of (expletive), is that too much to ask for?" she told police, according to the complaint.

To answer her questions, I think we can all agree, NO, no it's not too much to ask.

And lastly, I am posting this one in it's entirety. It's sad.




I hope they fire those cops.

7 comments:

Joshua said...

Only as long as fire you're referring to a firing squad. Fucking assholes.

karen said...

Those cops need to be beaten to death....that's awful!

The toe sucker needs more than an f'ing tic tac dude...EWWWW!!!!

Angie said...

In Iowa we know what we want and when we want it dammit! Loved all of these, but the last one made me stabby. I think the cops should be beaten with bags of feces and then fired. Just me?

Sarah Pearson said...

Jeez. Every time I think we can't sink any lower...

The Blue Zoo said...

Why do some cops have to be such assholes? It really ruins it for the ones that dont suck.

Momma Fargo said...

Zactly. Cops suck. I think they didn't get CIT training for dealing with the handicapped. Probably budget cuts...or perhaps the air is too dense down there and the cops are not real smart.

Glad to see no strange or bad news in the normal part of the US of A.

Perhaps next time the ice cream cone man will disguise himself as flavored ice cream as not to rile up the citizens...or add more sprinkles. Oy.

hotpants™ said...

I saw the KKK ice cream guy on Chelsea Lately. That was pretty funny.

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