Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Wacky News Wednesday--The Motherload Edition!

Today’s News is FILLED with crazy weird stories.
It’s like a treasure trove.
US Airways lets man in women's panties fly
San Francisco US Airways employees allowed a man to fly wearing nothing but skimpy ladies panties and high heels, stating they had no dress policy for passengers.
This was days after they had a Football player from Arizona arrested for wearing baggy pants that he refused to pull up all the way.
I guess they meant that they don’t have a CROSS-DRESSING policy for passengers.

California mom accused of killing baby in microwave

It wasn’t her fault the timer didn’t go off. How else are you supposed to know when it’s done?

NJ professor accused of running prostitution site

This NJ prof was running an online prostitution ring in Arizona. He’s like the Bill Gates of pimps.

Two killed after driving into massive hole in flooded road

Okay, WHO let Paris Hilton help sandbag?

Women can't keep breast implants for life: FDA

Turns out breast implants should have an expiration date on them, just like the milk jugs you buy at the store.

That seems ironic.

Man robs bank to get medical care in jail

Although he looks crazy, this guy is a genius. He was sick, had no money or insurance, walked into a bank, handed the teller a note demanding $1 and medical care, told her to call the police, and sat down to wait for them.

Missing Michigan Woman Found Dead In Suitcase

Some people will do ANYTHING to avoid those carry-on fees.

Brazil government identifies uncontacted tribe

They spotted this remote Amazon tribe of 200 indians, living in grass huts, and growing bananas and nuts for food.

Interestingly enough, they also noticed a DirectTV dish outside each hut.

Would you pay $100,000 for a razor?
Designed for millionaires, with an iridium handle, and 10 yr sapphire blades.
Because when you can wipe your ass on Ben Franklins face, a Bic just won’t do.

Utah man updated Facebook status during standoff

This just proves my point about needless status updates. Seriously? It couldn’t wait?

Study: Women dig dudes driving hot cars

Well, there was research money well spent.

This was brought to us by the same research firm that gave us last year’s big study:

“Humans need oxygen to survive”

Planned Parenthood stops treating Medicaid clients as stopgap funds run out

My own state, Indiana, passed a tough new anti-abortion law in May, which in part, cuts Medicaid funding for Planned Parenthood clinics.
The Pro-life side of me applauds this.
However, this doesn’t make much financial sense.
Wouldn’t it be better to let Medicaid fund the abortion, thereby cutting down the number of future enrollees of Medicaid?
Honestly, most of those unwanted kids from low income families are just going to grow up to be either criminals, or low income Medicaid recipients eventually needing abortions for their own unwanted pregnancies.
I say kill two birds with one stone.
Or two bums with one DNC.
Actor Doug Anthony Hutchison, 51, marries aspiring country singer Courtney Alexis Stodden, 16
Who knew the leader of the Dharma Initiative was a pedophile?
Seriously, the whole time I watched “Lost” I thought, that guy REALLY wants Claire’s baby.
I just didn’t think it was for THAT reason.
This girl’s mother gave permission for them to wed, which is CRAZY cause the mom is only 47!
Honestly though, that girl doesn’t look 16.
32 maybe. But not sixteen.
Mom says, “Doug is the nicest man I’ve ever met. We had no problem giving our consent.”
Awww, isn’t that sweet. He’s a NICE rich pedophile.

11 comments:

Trooper Thorn said...

I'm just glad that US Airways let's men into women's panties. It's hard enough to get into a woman's pants without the endorsement of a national air carrier.

Jewels said...

That last one kills me. I heard about it on the morning radio program I listen to....so creepy.

You gotta love a man who is smart enough to realize that the felons in our nation have better healthcare than those who have to pay for it. Smart man...stupid society.

I would NOT want to be the one sitting next to the man in women's panties and heels. That would be an awkward flight.

Coffeypot said...

The mother is in love with dollar signs. She sees her daughter as an investment. And why did the dingbat put her child in a microwave? Haven't heard that one yet.

Momma Fargo said...

The world is coming to an end. That dude was right...just off on the day.

EarthGirlsRFunny said...

Love the wacky news! It sounds like the old days of The Enquirer. Keep it up. Great entertainment over here.

The Blue Zoo said...

I KNOW! she so does NOT look 16.. Not at all. What the hell is she going to look like when she IS 30?? Will she look 80? ew!

Terry said...

OMG...hilarious....I never read about the news or even watch the news, but I'd read your blog anyday for the scoop!!

Mrs. Pickle said...

Can someone please explain to me why it is that I can’t fucking have a baby but some bitch who pops hers in the microwave can? WTF?

Joshua said...

I had heard that they cannot verify that the girl is 16, but who knows. Shit, even if she's 18, that's still fucking psychotic. He looks like a Batman villain in that photo. "The Pedophiler."

Alex said...

Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

hotpants™ said...

Those parents are idiots. He's a creepy old dude no matter how nice he is.

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