Tuesday, March 9, 2010

WiiFit Hurts My Feelings Again....And Awesome Kid Names

WiiFit Hurts My Feelings Again

WiiFit: “Step on”
*Me steps on*
WiiFit: “Oh Sh*T! It’s you again!”
Me: *SIGH*
WiiFit: “Back for more, Big Guy?”
Me: “…….”
WiiFit: “Fair enough. Lets get on with it, because you're killing me here.”
*calculating*
WiiFit: “It’s been 13 days since your last visit.”
Me: “Yeah, well my feelings were a little hurt last time, so I've been walking at work instead.”
WiiFit: “Well, now that you've grown a pair, let’s see how you’re doing with reaching that ridiculous goal you set…..Looks like you have lost 2 lbs. Hahahahahahaha! That’s a little short of your goal of 22 lbs in 2 weeks....Better hurry up! LOL!”
Me: “First, did you just 'LOL'? And secondly, I'll have you know I was doing good the first week. I was watching what I ate, and exercising every day by walking at work. But then last week, I kind of fell off the wagon. I started eating whatever I wanted and only walked 1 day. So I know I put back on some of the weight I lost.”
WiiFit: “I’m sorry. The WiiFit board has lost communication with the Wii, because you were monologue-ing."
Me: *blink*
WiiFit: “Maybe your thumb just has a stuttering problem? You meant to select 2 lbs, but your thumb was like ‘2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2’ lbs.”
Me: *GASP*
WiiFit: “Seriously, why do you even try?”

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Cool Kid Names....BUT Be Careful

I was listening to the radio the other day, and they were talking about this study on how kids names can influence who or what they become when older.

Evidently, they have found that what parents name their kids can have a somewhat self-fulfilling prophecy effect on the kids lives. Mainly it focused on boys names.

Here’s some of the examples they gave:

A kid named Russell Spike, who went by Rusty, became a huge school bully, and later a criminal.

A kid named Maxwell Fightstrong, or Max, became a Marine Corps Drill Instructor and decorated war hero.

A family had three sons named Warren (or War), and Gunther (or Gun), and finally Herodius (or Hero). Their last name was Legend. They all became State Champion wrestlers, and later soldiers.

I got to thinking…

I should have named my boys “President”.

Plus, with a last name like Adams, they’re practically shoe-ins.

Then I realized, being named "President Adams" wouldn’t necessarily guarantee that they would become President of the United States, because voters are stupid.

They might just become President of the Pedophiles Anonymous.

Or President of the Gay and Lesbian Association.

And nobody wants that on their resume.

Plus, I like my kids names.

20 comments:

confessor69 said...

Triumphant! I was going to try to name my kid after one of my favorite beers, but Dogfish Head didn't work quite as well.

Elizabeth J. Adams said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tony said...

If Merkin and I name our kid after my favorite brew, then my kid's name would be Fat Tire. Poor kid...

And Wii Fit is such a jerk.

Ed said...

Liz: I knew you would say something about that.

that's why I am saving his SS# and Date of birth for my next post.

Coffeypot said...

With my name of Coffey, I have had many comments and nicknames (drip, coffee pot, percolator, all the coffee brand names, etc.) When I worked with Coca Cola as a rout salesman and supervisor, EVERY COMIC out there love to say, "Coffee the Coke man. HAHAHAA" So I would give them a throat chop. I don't work there anymore. Now I just tell everyone to call me Maxwell house...Good To The Last Drop.

Captain Dumbass said...

I'm changing the name of my youngest to Krull the Destroyer. I think he'll grow into that well.

cfoxes said...

I grew up with the last name of Rainey. Dad wanted to name me Never and my sibling, Always. I married a Fox and hubby wanted to name our children Ima and Ura.

Momma Fargo said...

I think we got the same Wii Fit...Best Buy? They won't take it back either. Jerks.

Names are so hard. Now I'm thinking I should have gone with Zena Warrior Princess rather than the name I gave my daughter. UGH! She just doomed to be a lawyer. EGADS! And don't give your kids three names...they end up being serial killers.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

What about the kid named Polly Esther Sheets?

What will she be when she grows up?

Cassie said...

So I should have named my kids Magnum and Colt, so they would have killer instincts?

Life Laugh Latte said...

Makes me feel so good to know that you are getting good sound "growing up" advice. Kind of frightens me to do it, but knowing it helps one man grow up to understand his body...is worth it. Love the Wii dialogue. Seriously, so many people would buy that if you produced that version. Awesome. Holly

Daffy said...

My thumbs stutter too! It's kind of funny when it happens because it makes the kid I'm signing to all dizzy and sometimes she throws up....like being on a roller coaster and shit.

Mad Woman said...

Huh. My thumb stutters when putting in how much I want to lose, but somehow it never does that when putting in my actual weight. What's with that?! I'm considering breaking up with my Wii Fit in favour of chocolate.

adrienzgirl said...

I'm with Mad Woman...trade that Wii in for chocolate.

ScoMan said...

Plus if you named one of them "President", the others would feel a little hard done by, and like they could never measure up.

And if you named all of them President it would just be confusing.

Jules said...

I could TOTALLY tell you the "bad" kids' names.... But I need to know your kids' names first...

Moooooog35 said...

I would TOTALLY love having "President of the Lesbians" on my resume.

Every day would be a holiday.

JennyMac said...

HAHA..I love it when the WiiFit talks to me during yoga "uh oh...you seem a little shaky too."

Oh, you'll shake too WiiFit when you are tossed out in the rain.

I went to law school with a girl with the last name MoneyMaker. NICE.

Alyxmyself said...

Yah, I'm with Mooooog.

I'm not only the President, I'm a member.

Dorn said...

I need a WiiFit like yours to boss me around. Mine can only seem to reminde me of it's cruel irony: Cheaters Never Lose.

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