Taking a cue from my old buddy (and I mean OLD!) Coffeypot, I decided to do something here that I rarely ever do.
I know you’re thinking, “What’s that? Be funny?”
But to you I say, “Ha! Nice one, Assmunch!......NO, I’m always funny, but I thought I would copy and paste something that someone else sent me.”
And that someone is the NOW RETIRED Old Guy Office Mate!
Actually, he retired in August, and has spent the ensuing months repeatedly crashing his personal computer.
But he is FINALLY back up and running and forwarding me mostly trash, but occasionally funny stuff like this:
I had just come out of the store with a meat & potato pie, large chips, mushy peas, and a jumbo sausage.
A poor homeless man was sitting there and said, “I have not eaten for two days”.
I told him, “I wish I had your fucking willpower!’
Tip: If you’re camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because of the heat, she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it is NOT necessarily an invitation for casual sex.
Wish me luck; I appear in court next Monday.
I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse. Apparently the instruction ‘finish off on her face’ didn’t mean what I thought it did.
A fat girl was serving me food at McDonalds during Lunch Time the other day.
She said, “Sorry about the wait.”
I said, “Don’t worry, Fatty! You’re bound to lose it eventually!”
There is Snow in the Forecast. The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight.
I thought to myself, “Fat chance with a face like that!”
Years ago there was a common saying of “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”
But since all the doctors now seem to be Muslim, I’ve found that a bacon sandwich works best.
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells.
Apparently ‘Blacks’ and ‘Mexicans’ were not the correct answers.
Well, there you have it. Some slightly offensive stuff from Old Guy!
I’ll be back with a real post later this week.